my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
