I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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