Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
