Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
