How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
