absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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