before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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