You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How does one acquire holy water?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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