Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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