i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
