YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
