I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
