I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize