i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm sobbing to NWA
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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