True but thats because hes a fetus.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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