just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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