So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
