I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
