she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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