She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
