it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
