Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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