....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
