then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
