you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
