She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
