your parents love me but you hate me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize