I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They took my balls.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
