The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize