you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
