I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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