he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
