Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
