My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
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We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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