Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
