do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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