I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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