umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
