I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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