its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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