just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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