The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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