its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
