she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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