i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
