very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize