I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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