high people should be assigned attendants
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
