just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize