Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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