Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's official drugs can't kill me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
