i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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