Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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