I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
