She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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