We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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