I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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