My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
