Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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