dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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