redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
