I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize