I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
