She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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