Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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