so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
